Wrapped in Hope: A Forbidden Romance (The Hope Series Book 1) by K.B. Andrews

Author:K.B. Andrews [Andrews, K.B.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2017-12-17T05:00:00+00:00

Chapter 18

It’s been one month since my weekend with Holden and I still have to fight the urge to run to him. I’ve been doing good on my own. I go to class and to the gym daily. That’s one thing Holden was right about. The gym really does help to get out some aggression, and it gives me time to focus on nothing but me. I haven’t been back to group because I’m still afraid to run into him. I know that if I see him, I’ll want to touch him, be with him. And due to his lack of contact over the past month, that’s something he doesn’t want. A piece of me wonders if he’s reconciled with his wife, and as much pain as that thought brings, I hope they found their happiness in this ugly situation.

I’ve been spending all my time working on myself. I’ve even made a few friends at school, something I never tried to do before. And I’ve picked up a part time job at a coffee shop, just to occupy my time. With whatever spare time I have, I usually spend my days seeing the world behind the lens of my camera.

Slowly but surely, everything begins to get better. I still think of Dean, but now instead of thinking about how he was taken from this world way too soon, I think about all the good times we had. I try to focus on the positive instead of only seeing the negative.

Dean was a large part of my life growing up. He made me who I am today. He was also the cause of my downfall. Thanks to Holden, I knew I had to let all that go. The moment I took that ring off my finger, the weight on my shoulders was lighter. I found it easier to go longer periods of time without feeling his loss. Making friends, going to the gym, and getting a job has all helped me as well. I’m an active part of society now.

Even though I think of Dean less and less, I think of Holden more and more. I find myself looking for him in a crowd of people. I think back on that weekend we spent together and wonder if there was anything I could’ve done differently that would have resulted in us being together right now. I have questions upon questions with no answers.

Many women would say that he used me, but I don’t believe that because I saw the way he looked at me, I heard his shuddering breath when we touched, and I felt every ounce of passion and desire when he looked into my eyes. When it comes to Holden, I believe that he made my decision for me. He was afraid of what people would say about us, what my parents would say about us. He didn’t want to make my life harder by having to fight for our relationship. He probably thinks he made the right decision for me, but he’s wrong.

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